Sharing in Joy and Sorrow

 “Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” Romans 12:15 

The emotions of rejoicing and weeping are two of the most common and recognisable human traits. Each in their own time and way can bring relief, solace and comfort. Most people are quite capable of these emotions and can easily relate to the benefits that can come from expressing them.

When we are the source of the rejoicing or the weeping, we often look for and are encouraged by someone who can share in those emotions with us. When we rejoice, we usually want others to know what good or exciting thing has taken place in our lives and find increased pleasure in a person who genuinely congratulates, cheers and celebrates with us. In most cases the opposite also holds true. Although there is a new bent of thinking which generally resents sympathetic expressions of concern,  usually when we find ourselves in crisis, sorrow, grief, or hardship has befallen us, our soul longs for consideration, understanding and sincere acknowledgement. Even if the words spoken to us are few or tentative, the feeling transmitted by genuine empathy comforts and soothes our jarred and jaded being.

The focus of the verse before us however, is not how we ought to rejoice or sorrow in our own situations, but rather how we should behave in other people’s joys and sorrows. When we find that others are genuine in the expression of these emotions and make a heart-felt display of them, how should we react?

At face value, it could appear that the entire issue is quite simple. After all what's so difficult about being happy with those that are happy and sad with those that are sad? Yet when considered carefully the matter is far from easy and requires a little more of us than just a happy or sad demeanour. In fact we often are guilty of dismissing this practice too lightly, with mere platitudes, pat phrases or clichés. This may stem from the fact that we have replaced the true meaning of joy for just happiness and the true meaning of sorrow for just sadness. 

When we encounter someone’s rejoicing we can easily verbalise ‘I am happy for you’, without really feeling anything positive towards the person’s elation, or worse by being indifferent, envious or resentful toward them for their happiness. Some have even become artists at ‘ruining’ the rejoicing of others by unkind and purposeful put-downs.  

Conversely when faced with someone’s sorrow, we may evade the difficulty and embarrassment of the moment with lame excuses or changing subjects. We may feel we are being imposed upon, after all we ‘have plenty of hassles of our own’; or utter stereo-typed responses which require little or no feeling on our part and often only make matters worse for the person with the need. Some make a practice of raising some comparative personal experience which is always ‘so much worse than’ and superimposes on the need before them not to support or encourage, but to dismiss it as essentially irrelevant. 

Clearly our responses to other people’s joy and sorrow must be more than superficial conventions, evasions or dismissive, unfeeling mannerisms. I am sure at times we mean well and are only trying to help that person to ‘get over’ their difficulty, but the sincerity of our help would carry much further if we first genuinely ‘wept’ with them, by feeling a bit of what they feel and shared their pain.

As Christians we should be willing practitioners of expressing in the right manner, at the right time and to the right people, the kind of supportive emotions that can enrich both the giver and receiver of them. Yet the fact that we need to be exhorted in scripture and reminded to be genuine participants in other’s rejoicing and weeping, is sufficient to show that for the most, the altruistic response doesn’t come to us naturally!

Being emphatically empathetic, ardently attentive and intrinsically involved with someone else’s need instead of our own doesn’t happen by chance! It takes practice and lots of it! Essentially we are directed here to be givers more so than takers and this is contrary to our generally selfish nature. The sense of patience with someone else, the putting of all else on hold to really listen, and the ability to share in the reality of another’s joys or sorrows in a godly and proper way, is an art and necessity minimised, uncherished and bypassed in the rush and noise of our modern lifestyles. However the aptitude to truly give at this level is a defining feature of our humanity, a test of the quality of our Christianity and a fulfilment of the Lord’s commands to give and to love.

Some of the greatest messages we may communicate in our lives will not be words but caring deeds. Some of the greatest ways we may impact others may be slowing down to another person’s pace or go to their level and meet them there. Some of the most significant legacies we may leave behind may be the memories of the kindness and compassionate response we gave when we gladly rejoiced in someone’s joy and openly, unashamedly felt for and wept with someone in their distress. 



See also:
http://dailybiblefocus.blogspot.com.au/
http://www.pentecostalfamilychurch.com.au/devotion